The P45 Diaries

The P45 Diaries

Ben Hatch / Nov 17, 2019

The P Diaries MEET JAY My name is Jay Golden and the reason I ve started a diary is so that researchers will be able to piece together my early life when I m a famous celebrity It will help them get their facts str

  • Title: The P45 Diaries
  • Author: Ben Hatch
  • ISBN: null
  • Page: 496
  • Format: Kindle Edition
  • MEET JAY My name is Jay Golden and the reason I ve started a diary is so that researchers will be able to piece together my early life when I m a famous celebrity It will help them get their facts straight and stop them having to rely on potentially corrupting sources such as Big Al from Big Al s Golden Delicious Doner Kebabs and dad who thinks I m a prat Following theMEET JAY My name is Jay Golden and the reason I ve started a diary is so that researchers will be able to piece together my early life when I m a famous celebrity It will help them get their facts straight and stop them having to rely on potentially corrupting sources such as Big Al from Big Al s Golden Delicious Doner Kebabs and dad who thinks I m a prat Following the triumph of my novel It Purred Golden is a genius I will give one interview to Melvyn Bragg at Quaglinos over seafood marinere and caramelised squid then disappear into obscurity to become a hermit like JD Salinger Jay is 18 and keeps a diary better than he keeps any job His countless sackings and relentless taunting of his father s BBC celebrity friends mix with the emotions of a family adjusting to loss Desperate for literary fame, and unable to accept that a man with as many UCCA points as he has, must now show hustle in the lobby area of Chesham McDonalds, Jay dreams of running away to Africa to dig water wells, of becoming a freedom fighter in Syria and of making it so big in the lawnmower business he owns a kidney bean shaped swimming pool full of bunny girls But first he has to get off his arse and stop watching Countdown in his pyjamas In short he has to grow up As poignant as it is funny, stand back to hear Jay s unique insights on life, love and the correct amount of lettuce to apply to a McChicken sandwich This book was previously published as The Lawnmower Celebrity.

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      Published :2018-012-04T11:15:47+00:00

    About "Ben Hatch"

      • Ben Hatch

        Ben Hatch s latest novel is called THE P45 DIARIES How To Get Sacked From Every Job in Britain Currently being developed as a BBC sitcom, and a former BBC Radio 4 Book of The Year, it was previously titled The Lawnmower Celebrity and is based loosely on Ben s woeful experiences of his teens and 20s when his dad thought he was an oaf.Ben was born in London and grew up there, in Manchester and also in Buckinghamshire, where he lived in a windmill that meant he was called Windy Miller at school for years, though he s not been scarred by this experience at all He now lives in Brighton with his tiny wife Dinah, and two children, in a normal house He likes cheese and is balding although he disguises this fact by spiking his hair to a great height to distract people he wishes to impress.Ben who is actually writing this and pretending to be someone else has written for The Guardian, The Times, The Daily Telegraph, The Daily Mail and The Daily Express among other newspapers Previously he wrote ROAD TO ROUEN A 10,000 Mile Journey In A Cheese filled Passat that was a Number One bestseller and ARE WE NEARLY THERE YET 8,000 Miles Round Britain In A Vauxhall Astra, a BBC Radio 2 Book of the Year, and also a Number One bestseller It is also under developed as a film by Island Pictures.Ben is the tallest Hatch who ever lived 5ft 9in and is the son of Sir David Hatch, the radio performer and producer whose shadow Ben doesn t at all feel under He also maintains that he knows the cure for the common cold tweet him at BenHatch to find this out and that one of his relatives was John Couch Adams who discovered the planet Neptune Apparently, his aunty told him.Many years ago his novel the International Gooseberry was published by Orion It was about a hapless backpacker with a huge ungovernable toenail It was described as hysterical and surprisingly sad by the Daily Express Ben Hatch was on the long list of Granta s 2003 list of the most promising 20 young authors in the UK, but missed out on final inclusion possibly because of the toenail stuff In association with his wife Dinah, he has also written three guidebooks for Frommer s.You can visit Ben Hatch at facebook BenHatchAuthor although his page is a bit rubbish.


    1. The P45 Diaries by Ben Hatch is a revised version of his novel The Lawnmower Celebrity, originally released some years ago. A P45 is an unemployment form in Britain I am told, and Jay, Hatch's protagonist, has plenty of experience with joblessness. 18 years old, having just lost his mother to cancer and utterly lacking in direction, Jay's current situation is a series of false starts and disappointments. He struggles to get some traction in his life, but just seems able to do so. One job after a [...]

    2. Peppered with the laugh-out-loud, slightly anti-establishment humour and characterised by the easy prose that will be familiar to those who have read Ben Hatch's memoirs of travels with his wife and children, this novel is not as different from those books as might be expected. As I noted in my reviews of "Road to Rouen" and "Are We Nearly There Yet?", those books also have at their heart important themes of family relationships, love and loss, lurking beneath observational humour and banter."Th [...]

    3. The P45 Diaries has received many rave reviews online. Those readers are not necessarily wrong, they are just not me. Two of my most highly rated reads so far this year could be described as comic novels, so I am not allergic to the form. Having said that, my responses to humourous books do tend to opposite ends of the scale, and in this case I was at the unimpressed end of the spectrum.The "hero", Jay Golden, is an eighteen year old who excels at annoying his father but, seemingly, at little el [...]

    4. For any fans of Adrian Mole, Bridget Jones or even if you’re just the type who likes peeking in someone’s diary . . . here’s one for you.Jay Golden is 18 years old and too insightful for the world around him. Perceptive and intelligent he’s stuck in a flump, resisting adulthood and waiting for the rest of the world to catch up with his thinking that all mundane jobs should be done by robots. Unfortunately in Jay’s case, this means most jobs.A side tickler of a read, The P45 Diaries fol [...]

    5. I believe this book is listed under the wrong genre and don't believe it should be listed as a comedy. I don't understand how an eighteen year old boy, struggling with the death of his mother is funny. As a result a relationship with his dad and several others is on a downward spiral and he thinks he has nobody to talk to. He ultimately goes through a long list of jobs and I can not help but feel pity towards him instead of laughing at him.I'm neither impressed or disappointed by this book, thou [...]

    6. I enjoyed this book, especially the central character's relationship with his 50s throwback father and little brother. There was some laugh-out-loud humour - I loved the idea of Jay stealing his father's contacts book and ringing up celebrities - and very poignant moments surrounding Jay and his mother. It ended rather too quickly for me and it did feel in parts like a book that had been updated from a previous version. I'd recommend it to anyone looking for a funny, poignant read. And it's goin [...]

    7. Everywhere I went on this book seemed to follow me, any book I bought it seemed to appear stealthily below working its way on to my wish list then before I knew it, it had had downloaded itself on to my Kindle. It was sneaky I had actually intended to buy Road to Rouen instead!As usual I do the bulk of my reading at night, whilst reading this I found myself bursting in to laughter in the wee small hours only to be shouted at by my grumpy husband who does not appreciate a fine funny book.Anyway [...]

    8. One of the most surprising novels I've read since I started tracking and reviewing my books on , Ben Hatch's sharply observed comic tale of a wildly irritating 18-year-old waster who's convinced himself and is desperately trying to convince everyone around him that he's destined to be a great writer is both great fun and at times, deeply sad.Jay Golden's sheer misplaced self-belief, his genuine conviction his own brilliance and his complete inability to hold down a succession of dead-end jobs pr [...]

    9. I discovered the existence of The P45 Diaries from the author on twitter ( @BenHatch ). From publicity there, I got the impression that this would be a light, silly tale of a teenager failing to hold down a job. And this is certainly true. However, there's also a lot more to the novel as we discover why our anti-hero, Jay Golden, is quite so flippant about his future.The P45 Diaries jumps back and forth a year in time, Jay's diary entries gradually revealing his family's helplessness as they wat [...]

    10. I really loved this book. It's a bitter sweet tale, you spend half your time loving Jay and the other half wanting to tell him to get his act together. Ben Hatch has managed to harness his 'inner teenager' and has written an account of the trials of being 18 in an emotive and very real way. Jay (the 18 year old) has to deal with losing his Mum to cancer right at the time when he is leaving school and joining the 'grown up' world. To say he finds it difficult is an understatement. His hilarious a [...]

    11. This is the second book I've read by Ben Hatch and it didn't disappoint. He seems to very easily be able to combine hilarity with sadness. The main character, Jay Golden, is simultaneously frustrating, yet utterly endearing as he struggles to make his way in the world after a massive loss. The small details which make up Jay's relationships is what makes him so genuine and likable. I would highly recommend this, and have tissues at the ready for tears of sadness and laughter!

    12. Fab fab fab!This book was funny and moved along at a cracking pace. However, there is a real pathos and genuine sadness in places. So I laughed and cried. Any book that can make you do that is well worth reading!

    13. This book had me feeling at times frustrated with, and sympathetic towards the main character. It's a simple story, well written such that it evoked emotions in the reader and a very easy read. I did not find it "un- put down-able" but I enjoyed it.

    14. Make sure you have a box of tissues. This masquerades as a funny book but it really is a poignant and tear jerking read with some laughs on between. Stumbled across this by chance but is pleased I did

    15. I enjoyed the diary format of the book. It was peppered with laugh out loud moments, and tinged with sadness as the main character, Jay, recounts losing his mother to cancer. Not as funny as Ben Hatch's other books but still good.

    16. A slow start and felt more like I was reading about a 14yr old rather than a 18yr old but it gained on me and did have me an emotional wreck by the end. It brought back so many memories of losing my father.

    17. A light, easy-going, funny, non-taxing read with some sweet moments. Owes a lot to Adrian Mole. Special? No, but well-written and enjoyable.

    18. I really loved this book which had me laughing and crying in equal measures. I found the very close bond between Jay and Charlie very touching. Such great, memorable characters.

    19. This book made me laugh out loud (slightly embarrassing on the bus) and cry (I didn't read those bits on the bus). Want to read more from Ben Hatch.

    20. An enjoyable read with some laugh out loud moments and sadness too. Quite enjoyed the diary format. First Kindle read from lending library - an interesting debut.

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